“Evening News” (March 24, 2023)

In Another Era, You Would Be A Chain Smoker

In another era you would smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. Maybe five.

For over seven years you have gladly bathed in history’s most expensive, most pervasive, most enduring, and most intense hate campaign ever directed against a single human being. There are no close seconds in any of the aforementioned categories.

Hitler was not judged as harshly as Donald Trump. Compare and contrast Chaplin’s take on Der Fuehrer versus Kathy Griffin’s severed head, Snoop’s assassination video, the nightly Trump-as-Julius Caeser mass stabbing, and the ongoing commentary from the women of “The View”.

Hitler. Mussolini. Mao. Stalin. Castro. Bin Laden. None of them endured a hate campaign even marginally as intense as the programmed hate of Donald Trump. The closest comparison would be Vladimir Putin and he has never been attacked with the ferocity that is only reserved for The Orange Man.

Expense. Ever wonder why Rachel Maddow rakes in a 9-figure salary? Why Anderson Cooper brings home 10 digits? Why George Stephanopoulos is locked into a multi-year compensation package that exceeds $100,000,000?

Good looks cannot be ruled out. Yes, if you and I were pinup material, good fortune might rain on us in a proportionate manner. But it certainly is not ratings and higher advertising revenue that is associated with a larger viewership. Nope.

Talking heads are compensated for their loyalty. Whatever else might be said of Lesley Stahl, she will never go off script. Nor will any other member of our vaulted Fourth Estate. Should that ever transpire, you would witness the renegade’s immediate transition to self-employed podcaster.

Loyalty is expensive. Isn’t it ironic that the people whose purported duties—reading a teleprompter—would be the absolute easiest to duplicate, all enjoy lifetime employment? David Muir and all of his media clones could be replaced by anyone who can read and speak fluent English. David Muir is said to be earn $5-$7million per year. Loyalty is expensive.

Not that Trump-hate is the only item on the Hive’s agenda but it is at the top of the list. How expensive is Trump-hate? That’s like asking an economist how much money is in circulation. An economist can use different models and they can estimate and they can calculate, but ultimately they inform us that it’s a Big Ass Number. So too, with Trump-hate.

Trump-hate is pervasive. News, Sports and Weather. Late night television. Award show acceptance speeches. Daytime Television. Shows featuring once-funny comedians. Shows featuring never-funny comedians. Shows featuring comedians in name only. National Public Radio. Twitter, Facebook. All social media. Conservative, Inc. And please do not overlook Bret Baier and his fellow truth assassins at Fox News.

Persistence. Trump-hate never goes away for very long. It flourishes both domestically and internationally. It grows in sunshine and shade and in musky cob-webbed cellars. Each harvest overflowing, year after year with plenty more on the horizon. There is no other campaign like Trump-hate.

The only comparable advertising tsunami would be the collective endeavors of tobacco companies. For decades, King Nicotine dominated TV, radio and magazines. Movie stars smoked onscreen. TV shows often featured a cigarette epilogue where the sponsored brand was touted. Lucy and Desi plugged Chesterfields. The Flintstones smoked Winstons, as did the Beverly Hillbillies. Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore enjoyed the taste of Kent in an ever-perky manner.

The weak of mind and the void of spirit were Silly Putty in the hands of hidden persuaders. “Bend me, shape me any way you want me”. If you asked a smoker, why he smoked you would get a dumb look in response. There were tobacco ad campaigns that promoted youth, vigor and virility. There were even subtexts that certain brands made one appear clever.

Seems strange now that a product that resulted in lung cancer, throat cancer, heart disease, burnt clothing, burnt furniture, house fires and bad breath, would be used as an intellectual prop, a subtle and suave version of a framed diploma. It speaks to the power of mass advertising. It speaks to the power of ubiquitous messaging. It speaks to the vulnerability of a weak mind.

Yes, you the Trump-hater have mastered a skill. You can express your vitriol one-upmanship with your nose held high. You are so vastly smarter and wiser than the pathetic Trump supporter. You are so noble and ever so virtuous. You are ever so discerning. You are sophisticated. In another era, you would be a chain smoker.

Zamisdat Editor-In-Chief