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THE IRONY OF MATT TAIBBI

Pomp and Circumstance: What Did Our Graduates Learn?

Across the income spectrum, graduates learned that history is a story of skin color. This was an easy lesson based on the last acceptable binary—all white people are by nature oppressors, and all “people of color” are innocents, marginalized by their privileged tormentors. Our nation, even with its advanced healthcare, economic mobility and charitable spirit, is forever tainted by its pale founders. In summary, nothing about America is virtuous because it was conceived in the original sin of whiteness.

They learned that skin color not only explains the past, but also determines the future. Therefore, students must dissolve into protective tribes, also called “affinity groups,” along certain racial lines—part of the famous “unity” that the left promised us in 2020. Some teachers even infused the revolutionary spirit of Mao and Marx into lessons by romanticizing their American offspring, the Black Panthers and BLM. This thinly-disguised revolution also has an official dogma and “equitable” sorting system taught by the highly-paid DEI “practitioners” who visited campuses to lecture everyone.

The practitioners taught students to reflect on their inherent bias and “sit in their discomfort;” after that, they could join the mob to rectify injustices like microaggressions, misgendering, and Columbus Day. It didn’t matter that the students attended an elite $35,000 per year school, had iPhones, and never knew a day in their lives when Americans of all stripes could not attend college, apply for loans, vote, or hold public office—and with more accommodations than ever. There is much to celebrate in our imperfect melting pot, but these graduates didn’t learn much about that.

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